I wish I knew this sooner….🤯
Think you can’t change your mindset? Think again…here’s how…
Hi friend,
Life can feel like a rollercoaster sometimes, right?
One day, everything could be flowing effortlessly, and then the next, it can feel like everything is falling apart.
But these ups and downs is something we all seemingly go through.
And while we can’t control everything that happens to us, we can control how we approach situations and how we respond to them—this is where mindset comes into play.
If you're reading this, you probably have a desire to shift your mindset.
And here’s the good news: just wanting change already means you believe it’s possible. That’s the first step—believing change can happen.
But, as you may or may not know, simply wanting change isn’t enough.
The real transformation happens in the doing. It takes consistent practice to develop a mindset that can ride the ebbs and flow of life.
And so what must we do to help ourselves shift our mindset?
In this newsletter, I’ll share what that can look like — so keep reading ◡̈
Change Takes Time. Be Gentle
Before diving into specific practices, I want to stress that building a new mindset isn’t something that happens overnight. Understanding that your thoughts don’t define you is one thing, but truly believing and living it—that’s the journey. So, as you move through this process, be easy on yourself.
Building a Strong Mindset
1. Practice Noticing Your Thoughts
One of the most powerful habits you can develop is the practice of noticing your thoughts. Pay attention to the loops playing in your head daily.
Noticing your thoughts is about becoming more mindful of the inner dialogue that runs in the background of your mind.
This could look like:
Journaling/self reflection: At the end of each day, reflect or write down some of the recurring thoughts you were having. Were they helpful, neutral, or negative?
Check-ins: Pause throughout the day to ask yourself, “What’s on my mind right now?” “Are these thoughts that I’m having aligned to the type of mindset I want to have? This helps bring awareness to automatic thoughts.
Mindful moments: Whether you’re driving, cooking, or waiting in line, take note of where your thoughts go. Are you reacting to the drivers around you? Did someone cut you off? Is the food taking too long to prep? Is the person in front of you in line taking forever? How are you responding mentally? Are your thoughts kind, or are they harsh? These moments reveal where your mindset is at any given time.
2. Challenging Negative Thoughts
Once you’re aware of your thoughts, the next step is to challenge the negative ones. Ask yourself:
“Is this thought true?”
“What evidence do I have to support or disprove it?”
When you can identify the distortion in your thinking, you can then begin to reframe.
Replace negative self-talk with more supportive or balanced thoughts, like shifting “I’ll never figure this out” to “I’m still learning, and it’s okay to ask for help.”
—REFRAME, REFRAME, REFRAME!—
Reframing a thought that isn’t aligned to the version of yourself that you’re looking to strengthen is so important.
Some more examples of common thoughts many of us have are listed below with the reframe. Check them out.
Old Thought: “Today’s going to suck.”
Reframe: “I have the power to make today what I want it to be.”
Old Thought: “I’m already in a bad mood.”
Reframe: “I can shift my mood with a small action.”
Old Thought: “My day is ruined.”
Reframe: “This moment doesn’t define my entire day.”
Try This—
*Get a paper and pen out and start writing down common thoughts you have that you’re willing to challenge and reframe. See what that feels like for you.*
Challenging negative thinking and then being able to reframe is all about moving from self-criticism to problem-solving—giving yourself the opportunity to grow instead of staying stuck.
3. Go Beyond the Reframe—Understand the Why
Reframing your thoughts is powerful, but it’s just the beginning.
To make lasting change, it helps to dig deeper. We can do this by getting really honest & asking ourselves powerful questions. Understanding the “why” can help heal the root cause of negative patterns.
Reflection Questions for Deeper Awareness:
Where is this original thought coming from?
Why do I believe this?
What old fears or beliefs are driving these thoughts?
What triggers these thoughts?
What are the most common thoughts I have during stressful moments?
How do my thoughts affect my mood or energy?
When I notice a negative thought, how do I feel physically? What emotions come up?
Am I setting unrealistic expectations for myself?
How can I approach my thoughts with curiosity rather than judgment?
This is about self exploration, not self-judgment. Get curious about your patterns, and remain compassionate with yourself as you uncover them.
The Power of Discipline- (final thoughts)
It’s easy to consume all the mindset content out there—books, podcasts, videos—but at the end of the day, one truth remains: you have to do the work.
And while “doing the work” can feel hard…think about times when you’ve done hard things— if you’re a parent, need I say more? Or maybe you left a relationship that was no longer serving you, despite the fear or discomfort of being alone or starting over. Or maybe you had a situation (or many) where you waited until last minute to get something for work/school done and you managed to do it.
Essentially, it goes to show that you’ve proven to yourself that you can handle difficult moments when external pressure is on.
But what happens when there's no external push? That’s where discipline comes in.
It's easier to act when something outside forces your hand, but it's much harder when there’s no immediate consequence if you don’t act. Consistent effort and discipline are key to building a mindset practice that sticks.
As Aristotle said, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
Stay patient w yourself, remain disciplined, and most importantly—trust in your abilities.
Sending you so much love & blessings.