Excuse me, your EGO is showing
Working with the ego through mindfulness
Your ego is not your amigo
“The ego, however, is not who you really are. The ego is your self-image, it is your social mask, it is the role you are playing. Your social mask thrives on approval. It wants control, and it is sustained by power because it lives in fear.” Ram Dass
The way we view ourselves strongly influences the type of decisions we make.
If we view ourselves as capable, then the things we do will match that. Likewise, if we view ourselves as incapable, our behaviors and actions will match that too.
But who are we? Who's the person behind the ”I”or the ”me?”
What is the ”self?”
There are many perspectives on the self and how we came to form our personal identity. In this email I share a psychological approach to explaining the self which says, we construct a sense of self by the ideas we have of who we think we are & the reality we think we live in.
So basically what that means is the reality we see ourselves to live in is based on the reality we create. Our view of self, others, & life at large is based on our personal interpretations, beliefs, ideas, & personal understandings.
The self is the “me story”. It is the n͟a͟r͟r͟a͟t͟i͟v͟e͟ people construct in order to have an easy definition of their individuality for themselves and others.
In short, the self is who we believe we are. It is an image that we create about ourselves. We will refer to the constructed self as the “ego” in this email.
Our view of self, others, & life at large is based on our personal interpretations, beliefs, ideas, & personal understandings.
Below you will find more info on the ego, why and how it lies to us, and practical tips and exercises you can take on to cultivate a stronger & healthier relationship with the ego.
So let's get into it.
Here’s the LOC breakdown for you to PREVIEW what you’re getting in this email (at a glance):
Mindful Insights
In this section, you will find:
(1) A (13 minute) short Ted Talk by Thandie Newton who does a great job at explaining her perspective of the ”self” and how it's constructed. (2)”Not Another Meditation” (meditation) repost—see how your experience differs from the first time you practiced this session. (3) Your ego is not your amigo — another perspective talking about the ego through a video I created with my friend Kandice.
Mindful Weekly Challenge
Observing The Ego — this challenge can help you become more aware of the beliefs you create for yourself and your circumstances which is often a byproduct of the inner workings of the ego. This may also support your ability to start seeing your thoughts as what they are….just thoughts and not of who you are by nature.
Mindful Approach
This week is all about the EGO. We’re breaking down what it is, learn how it can hurt us in some ways, & how we can cultivate a better relationship with the ego using mindfulness
Mindful Reflection
*Gratitude post*
Mindful Insights
1) Ted Talk by Thandie Newton
This video breaks down ”the self” and how we can embrace the self and others in a very beautiful simplistic way.
2) Not Another Meditation (Meditation)
This is a repost of a meditation I shared a couple of weeks ago. Its relevant for this week because it allows for you to take a breathing moment to do a quick reflection of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Are you navigating your life by choice and with good intent or are you letting life navigate you, where the events of the day pretty much take you for a wild ride? See if you can practice along this session and see what comes up for you.
3) The Ego Is Not Your Amigo — short video
This is a video my friend Kandice & I posted on our shared YouTube channel (social media and do it) talking about the ego. It's a short video but does a good job at sharing yet another perspective on the ego.
Mindful Challenge
Observing The Ego —
This exercise helps us to tap into ourselves to observe our ego and the role it plays in our lives. Try it out. See what insights you can gain from this. It may shift your perspective on some of the ways you currently live your life.
Mindful Approach
When we are humble, we are open to learning because we understand how much we don’t know.
The biggest obstacle to humility & being able to learn is being a “know it all.” This false sense of confidence is rooted in the ego.
When it comes to the ego, we can break it up into two — the true ego & the false ego
The true ego
The true Ego is the essence of who we are. Its our awareness of life and it’s our ability to interpret our experiences.
The false ego
False ego is an identity created to preserve our sense of being to make sure we're the most significant, always right, prideful, better, richer.
Both are constructs of what forms to be our identity. When we identify with something, we make it the same as “me.” So whatever we identify with becomes a part of who we are, regardless if it’s true or not true.
The EGO is a mask
An unchecked ego can harm us. It keeps us wanting to be the greatest & the smartest & in this constant desire to be better, we end up hiding our true nature.
The mask we wear can be seen as our persona.
Who we are, who we want to be, who we hope to be seen as, & what we are feeling at any given moment translates outward as our persona.
When we are at home, alone —we are a certain person or wear a certain mask. Then who we present to the world as, is a different version, a different mask.
Only difference? Our public persona works harder to be the best version.
But sometimes ego takes over
Insecurites make us want to convince ourselves & others that we're special. So we lie to appear more knowledgable, more accomplished, & more confident.
We present this inflated version of ourselves to others & do everything we can to protect it--- the self we want others to perceive.
The ego does this because the ego wants more! It wants us to get constant attention, reaction, praise, validation.
But the thing is, if you are satisfied with who you are, you don't have to prove your worth to anyone else.
Try this— Think of the choices you make when you're alone. No one else to judge you. No one to impress. Reflect on the you when nobody is watching. That is a glimpse of who you really are.
The ego isolates
The ego also likes to put other ppl down because if others are less than we are, we MUST be special. The ego does this by dividing ourselves from others.
The ego will rank ourselves & ppl based on things like physical attributes, education, net worth, race, etc.
The ego will have us finding so many ways to judge other ppl just because they’re different than us.
In many cases, we’re judging ppl to deflect their attention or our own from shortcomings we see in ourselves. If we don’t wanna deal with something alone, we project it onto others...& this happens ALOT.
Try this— Before passing judgement, Pause for a moment & ask yourself:— am I finding fault in order to distract myself and others from my own insecurities? Am I projecting my own weakness onto others? And even if I’m not, do I think I’m better than the person I’m criticizing?
The ego is an obstacle to growth—
It doesn’t allow us to be grounded in the moment. We’re always in our heads thinking of how to level up. For example, if we’re in conversation, instead of paying attention, we’re thinking of ways to respond & thus we don’t truly absorb the essence of what’s being said.
In our desire to show ourselves and others that we know it all, we jump to conclusions, fail to listen, and miss valuable good perspectives.
The ego is two faced
The false ego or the perception of ourselves that isn’t true may run most of our lives to keep us at bay and like we matter, but not always. The moment we get exposed for who we truly are, the ego is nowhere to be found. Without our personas, lies, prejudices, who are we?
Egotism often masks itself as powerful but then later transforms into low self esteem.
In order to learn grow & change, we need to learn to be more aware of the stories we tell ourselves & the ideas we formulate of both who we think we are and what we think the world is like.
Mindfulness & the ego
Mindfulness allows us to take a moment to pause and to notice the thoughts & feelings we experience as an experience & not as our identity.
This ability to observe is a powerful way to transcend the stories about the self. Instead of allowing the ego to take over and pin this “static” idea of what it thinks we are based off the kind of thought or feelings we have, the “dynamic” moment-to-moment observing awareness cultivated through mindfulness can allow us to see through the thoughts and feelings we have as it’s true nature.
Mindfulness allows us to detach from clinging on to the self that we think we are & opens us up to becoming aware of our true self.
When we cultivate a more mindful awareness, we then no longer base our worth or value on what we took in from the external noise of the world. We don’t take things so personal when someone tries to insult us. Our self esteem is defined based on our inner feelings about self instead of what we think others think of us. We no longer get defensive when we feel our identity is threatened. We become free. We become liberated.
& that’s all I got for you for this week.
I hope that you find this email to serve you some purpose. If it resonated with you, give a “heart” to the email. (You can find the heart up above next to my name) Or let me know. You can reply to me here in this email or you can leave a comment by pressing the button below.
***NEXT WEEK— the FINAL pillar: The integration phase. I will construct an email in a two part series putting together EVERYTHING that was talked about in the last few weeks to connect all the pieces ❤️
Mindful Reflection
I wanted to use this space to express some gratitude.
When I decided to endure on this journey of mindfulness and supporting others, I had no idea what I was in for (& tbh I still don’t know what I’m in for 😂) I just knew that I wanted to heal & to become a better version of myself & in the same light I wanted to share my learnings and insights with others.
If you know me personally, you know that what I do is real. I’m passionate about this shit lol. Like showing up everyday to Instagram & Facebook, creating content that speaks to others, building relationships with ppl who trust in me, doing this newsletter—all of it brings me so much joy. And I’m just so incredibly grateful to have the mindset that I have, the life that I live, and to have you here reading this. Thank you so much for being you & for showing up not only for me and these newsletters but for showing up for yourself. I love you my friend.
hope you have a beautiful day.
So until next week my friend,
namaste.
**NOTE: if you haven’t already, you can join the private group on FB where we can get conversations going & talk about important & meaningful topics or ideas as it relates to us or the world. Plus, I’d rather talk too you, not at you.
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I’m Victor.
Or the mindfulness guy.
I aim to find calm & balance in my life through inspirations between alternative Eastern traditional Buddhism styles of meditation & mindfulness, as well as modern secular styles too.
I believe that we ALL have the capacity to create greatness for ourselves & I’m willing to show you how.
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~I’m here to hold space for you because you deserve it.~
Victor Padilla